Does being a resilient person require denial? Amy has two raging ear infections...am I tough and resilient if it's "not that bad", or should I be honest and confess that I wonder if the stress of a sick baby, working nights and blending a family make me question my faith in the future?
My son didn't get invited to a good friend's birthday festivities. I found out through Facebook...that stings. If I'm resilient, do I say "oh, I'm sure it was an oversight, maybe thrown together...and all the kids couldn't be invited", or should I be honest and confess that my son thinks this kid is his best friend, and when push comes to shove it seems like this kid just doesn't like my son. When I think that, am I being too easily offended, not resilient?
I've always felt that being charitable means giving people the benefit of the doubt. But at what point do you just call a spade a spade and move on?
Something comforting that doesn't involve self talk: Hardship makes people stronger. Dustin and I recently snuggled down in bed and watched a fantastic devotional on his itouch. John Huntsman spoke at a BYU devotional in November 2009. I would recommend listening when you get the chance. When I think of his saying: we shouldn't wish for our children to feel no pain, we should remember that pain precedes growth...it rings so mind blowingly true.
I want to be resilient and forgiving...I also want to be honest. Can I be both?
Oh, and at what point am I being a brat? I feel pain over my kids hardships...but they're healthy and well taken care of and live in a free country without terrorism. They are so blessed!! SOOO, why do I still agonize for them?
My son doesn't even know about the festivities gone by, should I even stress about this? My daughter is now on Amoxicillin, and tonight is my last night to work for a week....perhaps things will take a turn for the better? SUCH IS LIFE!!
5 comments:
Thanks for the John Huntsman quote Nic. That is just what I needed to hear tonight. Who knew being a parent involved so much pain, huh? So far I'm finding that things like what happened with your son and the party hurt WORSE than if they actually happened to you, don't you think?
I will agree with you it is painful to be a Mother, their failures are our failures, their sadness is ours their stress is ours, but on the other hand their Joy is ours their triumpts are ours and raising our children is so hard but so worth it... I think who ever left your son out should be shot, ha,ha, Jk I am sure this will pass but it leaves a bad taste in your mouth and you dont quite feel the samr about a child that your not sure is treating your son like a BFF
I hear you on working and being a mom. It sucks! Love my (our) job, but I'd much rather not HAVE to work. My life is my family. Where do you draw the line? I don't think that there is one straightforward for everything. I think it's what you do with it- how you choose to make you feel inside. I think that emotions like being hurt etc. are normal and should be felt. It's what you do with it afterwards.
I'm so glad that I don't care what my kids do, totally unaffected.
I had similar feelings that other day, and realized that Heavnenly Father, who is perfect, aches for His children, too. That's not a weakness. And as far as charity, it is trying to see people as God does, and love them anyway- but he sees them perfectly AND honestly. You can be charitable and honest at the same time. You can make judgement calls without passing inappropriate eternal judgement (that's His job!) And yes, you can be resilient while preferring not to go through what you are going through. Remember the Savior in the Garden when He asked if there was another way, nevertheless, God's will be done? I am sure you are doing just fine. Everyone struggles at times, that's life, but the fatal flaw is to damn yourself with guilt over should-have-dones and never-measure-ups. You are amazing- do your best and God makes up the rest :)
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