Hopefully pictures are coming...maybe.

Why does it seem like every time I have a minute to blog...I'm at work. I'm assigned to the Greeter station at work. I see everyone who walks in the door, first. Unfortunately I don't have my cute little SD card with me that has all of my cute little pictures of my cute enormous family on it!! Nevertheless....I have a friend who recently asked followers of her blog what their favorite poem is. I thought I would quote mine here:

I walked a mile with Pleasure
She chattered all the way
She left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me.

-Robert Browning

There. That is what I value in life. I love to hear that people are real, they have hardship, they grow and learn and that they feel sorrow. It is true that there is MUCH joy to be had in this life, but ultimately I think we'll look back some day and be SO grateful for the times of sorrow that taught us, broke us down and formed us into individuals with depth and compassion. After all, feeling sorrow and remorse is what gave the Savior ultimate succor for us. I want to be like Him! Thanks goes to my friend Carrie...for asking me to remember that poem!!

I need to share

I don't have any pictures to post today. I wanted to share about my night at work the other night. I was charging the monster and we were absolutely crazy. We had trauma after trauma and they were all heartbreaking. A young man who took his own life as a consequence of an argument with family and some alcohol. The family is left to reel for years from that one split second decision. They were heart broken. I cried outside the room and other healthcare workers involved cried.

Then a 27 year old man, young and married just a few short years, had a cardiac arrest. Why? I don't think it was ever determined until after the code was called. But the ER team that worked that code was desperate. They tried everything. The doctor was in tears, as were all of the other members of the team. I stood outside the room and watched as the mother of this grown boy tenderly knelt down on the floor and took his head in her arms. I had to go to a secluded spot to compose myself.

I've always thought of a team as a sports term. It's nice that kids can learn to work as a team to accomplish a unified goal, and that's where my thinking about teams stopped. I've been profoundly influenced in the last three days since this code happened. Having been disgruntled lately about my job and frustrated with administration, that night I remembered why I love what I do. I watched this team of doctors, RN's, respiratory therapists, radiology, phlebotomy, patient care techs work on this man. This was a desperate team and they would have done anything possible to save this man. A group of people can become unified through teamwork, especially when trying to accomplish good for another person. And there will forever be a bond between these team members as they remember this night.

Watching death happen is sobering. I am more grateful for my life and want to appreciate every day. Even the 90 year old patients that I talk to tell me that their life has passed like a dream. I personally find it so easy to become wrapped up in the difficulty, the stress and the concerns. When I see a young man only 27 pass from this life I am humbled. I don't know why I've been allowed to stay on earth this long, but I am immeasurably grateful.

I remember as a kid I would listen to my little "My Turn on Earth" cassette tape. A woman is called home after her time on earth and she resists. She can't believe that her life is over. She feels like only yesterday she was scared to leave the security of her Heavenly Father and go down to earth. She asks herself if she has done everything she should have done here on earth and looks back as if it had been a dream. She sings that she's not ready. I love the music from this production. I can only be so thankful that it is my turn right now. It's my turn on earth, and that is sobering. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I have to work, and sometimes I be-moan the fact, but today I love what I do. I am grateful for my turn here on earth.

Things That I LOVE.

I've been sad lately. When I read friend and family blogs I feel uplifted. SO, I'm going to use my blog today to uplift myself. I'm going to list all of the wonderful things that I love lately. There are always things to be grateful for. Here goes...

1. My baby when she happy dances because she found some play high heels in my closet. I was saving them for her #2 birthday, but couldn't say no when she excitedly brought them to me, "Mommy! shoes!, Mommy! shoes!". I put the high heels on her, she instantly started her happy dance and I laughed out loud.

2. Granola with half and half. mmmm.

3. Sister filled weekends. I wish they lived next door and we could do everything together. We could raise each other's kids and have each other's backs and laugh our butts off. Wait, we already do that, and we don't live next door...but I wish we did.

4. My new found TV fun...haven't watched TV in years (except DWTS of course), but I have discovered the DVR. I love about 1 out of every 5 Oprah's. I love The Biggest Loser. And my sister's now have me hooked on The Bachelor (WHAT?)...but I can't resist. Hence, the beauty of the DVR, I can record it and Dustin and I can watch after the kids are all tucked in.

5. My soft velvet duvet cover

6. My baby's pink room.

7. Malt Shoppe Oldies, channel 801 on Direct TV. I listen all day long and dance too.

8. The new bronze statue that my Grandma recently handed down to me. A woman holding a baby with her older daughter following behind her. It reminds me of my grandma and of my kids at the same time.

9. My grandparent's ranch in California that I'm going to say goodbye to in March. I have a ridiculous amount of wonderful memories there. I'll be singing in my head Barry's "Where Did the Time Go?" as we drive away after our trip. Oh, and there will be tears. Life is so bitter sweet.

10. My warm and loving Mom. I hope I am like her in so many ways...someday.

11. Playing 007 night games with the kids and hearing Josh's friends tell me, "You are so good at this game!!". Oh yeah, I can find any kid in the dark with my mini-van and my flashlight. I'm that good.

12. Uplifting books that suck you in and make you feel inspired about life. I love believing that there really are no coincidences in life and that everything comes together for our learning and growth. This is what I have learned from books lately.

13. Feeling pretty.

14. And last but not least, HOT showers!!!